Creative Visualisation
by DainoChild
Summary: AU, EdVy. Ed receives an English assignment to write a creative visualisation of a goal he'd like to achieve and how he'd achieve it. He gets a bit carried away describing his goal: seducing Envy Alighieri. Which isn't a problem, until Envy reads it...


_Erm. Consider this an excuse for not having updated Edward Elric VS the Seven Deadly Sins of Love? ...please?_

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><p><strong>Creative Visualisation<strong>

_English Communications_

_Creative Assignment #5_

_Write a creative visualisation of something you would like to achieve at university. Try to focus on the actions that will be necessary to achieve this goal, as is standard of the practise._

_Word Count: 500 (10% above or below acceptable)_

_Due October 23rd._

Edward L. Elric

I'd like to complete my first year of university with a High Distinction average. Let's be realistic, though — that's gonna happen anyway. Don't even need to creatively visualise it or whatever. Just comes naturally to me.

Fuck this assignment is stupid. This class is stupid. The only good thing about it? Envy. Holy fucking shit Envy's hot. Teachers aren't allowed hormones so you have no _idea_ Mrs Garforte but Envy is seriously so hot that everyone who looks at him turns pansexual. That day he only wore the trench coat and those heels? Even _Russell Tringham_ wanted him.

There's a goal for university — seduce Envy Alighieri.

Wouldn't mind visualising that at all. You know, I hear he has a thing for guys with long hair. Likes to pull it. Imagine pinning him to the bed, legs, damn those legs go for _miles_, wrapped all around me, pulling my hair, swearing (when doesn't Envy swear?) and of course, _blushing_. He blushes easily, says it's just cos he's pale and then adds "Shut the fuck up, Elric" every time I point it out. It's pretty cute.

It'd be cuter if he wasn't such a fucking psychopath.

I think if I requested it, I could get the same dorm as Envy. I know Central U doesn't take requests but my dad does work there. It'd be _awesome_. Envy wears so little during the day, so how much less must he wear to bed? Probably some super-short negligee, black and lacy. No, wait, that might be too classy. Just a t-shirt.

It'd be so easy to seduce him, once we were in the same dorm. Sure he's prone to yelling at nothing and punching me and then storming off, but _where would he storm off to_? I'd be in his room. The student common room closes at midnight. So he'd have to come back, and it'd go down like this:

Envy storming back in. He'd glare at me and call me something stupid like short (I'm not even short he just sucks at insults) and I'd catch his fist, using it to pull him closer.

"Envy," I'd say, and he'd shut up cos I'd say it huskily, "Sorry I upset you."

And I'd just shut up right there. Wouldn't add anything about him being ridiculously oversensitive or too pale to be healthy (_seriously_) or how sometimes his ribs are poking out and that makes him look like he's got an eating disorder (he says he doesn't but so would someone who did) and most definitely _nothing_ to suggests he may at some point in the future want to become a girl (he pulled Russell's arm out of the joint! It was awesome, Russell's an asshole) and maybe I would say something to point out I definitely know the difference between transsexual or transgender or whichever it is and just crossdressing.

"Fine," Envy would say in that moody way. "Let me go."

And then, I'd look into his eyes and say, "_Never_."

I bet Envy likes chick-flicks, see. I saw a few with my last girlfriend. I get the idea, say something cheesier than Italian food (also possibly in Italian) and then they're all over you.

So then Envy'd be all over me and my dorm life would be filled with awesome sex and it's three am and that's long enough I'm gonna go visualise that for a while.

—

"See?" Ed groaned, pausing to take another swing from his thermos of coffee. "I've gotta write it again. Within twenty minutes. The hell do I write about?"

"…your mind is revolting," Winry said, dropping the homework with disdain. "I don't know, maybe pretend you're not the world's most arrogant pervert ever and say you're gonna study?"

"I don't _need_ to study."

"You're looking exceptionally gorgeous today, Winry," Ling Yao suddenly declared as he sat beside her. "But Ed, I think your pants could be tighter. Try harder tomorrow?"

"Piss off, Ling."

"I'm hurt," Ling gasped, before starting to read Ed's assignment.

"Give that back you —"

Ling's eyes widened. "Holy _shit_, Ed."

"Give it!"

"Hey, Russell!"

Ed snatched for the page, but Ling took advantage of his deformed height and Russell's to pass it to the other blond. Russell laughed, then declared, "I'll give you fifty bucks to turn this in, Ed."

"No way in hell!"

Ling laughed. "I'll throw in another fifty."

"You guys are completely ridiculous," Winry sighed. "He should be giving it to Envy."

Russell shook his head. "That's just cruel."

"Yeah, we don't want him to die."

They exchanged looks.

"A hundred if you hand it in to Garforte, another hundred if you show it to Envy," Ling said with a smirk.

"If you have that much money, why're you always making me pay for shit, huh?" Ed growled, finally managing to snatch the page back.

"So I have enough money to bribe you. Gonna do it?"

Ed grimaced. He could use the money… "I'll hand it in. No way am I showing it to Envy."

"You're doomed," Winry sighed. She refused to say anything more and Ed couldn't figure out how that was dooming himself, so he just ignored it.

One week later, Ed received his assignment back with a withering stare. There was no grade — only a note.

_You have a meeting in Mr Armstrong's office after class._

"…shit," Ed groaned.

Mr Armstrong was the school's over enthusiastic guidance councillor. It was bad enough when a teacher took enough concern in his students' lives to be reduced to tears without Armstrong's habit of stripping to try and inspire. Ed couldn't imagine what would benefit from… _that_, but Armstrong never seemed to get that hint.

Armstrong's name on his door was written in sparkles. It was his trademark, and it was unsettling. Ed swallowed heavily before knocking.

"EDWARD ELRIC!" boomed Armstrong as the door burst open. Tears, sparkling tears of manliness, were running down his cheeks but at least his shirt was still on. "Oh, what a shame of what you're become! Writing such degrading, humiliating —"

"Is that Elric?" another voice growled.

Ed's blood ran cold. _Shit_.

Envy shoved past Armstrong, how Ed had absolutely _no_ idea and grabbed him by the shirt. He was blushing, which meant Ed was going to get punched. "The fucking hell's wrong with you, Elric? What the fuck are you _on_?"

"Er… I uh…"

"You uh, _what_?" Envy snarled, shaking him. "Why the fuck did you hand this in, you creepy little shit?"

"I had to hand _something_ in, and —"

For once, Ed was glad Envy hit him. Saved him from struggling to justify himself. Why, out of all the things Garforte could do, had she told Armstrong? And why had they told Envy? And most of all, why had they let Envy read it?

"Mr Envy Alighieri!" Armstrong cried, tears streaming as he pulled Envy away. Shit, the shirt had come off — when? And where had it gone? "Please refrain from violence, we're trying to sort out this issue with our words, not fists."

"Fists are more effective!" Envy roared, kicking at Ed.

"Shit, if fists are more effective quit kicking!" Ed shouted as he ducked.

"The hell're you dodging for, you're so tiny like I can hit you anyway!"

"WHO'RE-YOU-CALLING-SO-TINY-HE'D-FIT-BETWEEN-YOUR-TOES?"

"Don't fucking tell me that's another one of your kinks!"

Armstrong dropped Envy, who yelped, and stood between them flexing menacingly. His muscles were quivering. "GENTLEMEN! My muscles quiver in anticipation of settling this matter WITH OUR WORDS, in the sacred art of conversation that should have been passed through the generations of your family lines." With one arm, he grabbed Ed. The other reached for Envy, who slapped it. "Come, dear boys, into my office and let us talk about this matter!"

Envy reluctantly walked in, and Ed was dragged. Armstrong sat behind his desk, shirt still off, and said, "Now then, Mr Elric. Why would you write such a thing about Mr Alighieri?"

"Um." Ed risked a glance to Envy. "Cos, I was dared to?"

"What a foolish reason! Look at what you've caused, Mr Elric — feel the shame, Edward, feel it, it must ripple through your body like the muscles upon my chest!"

"I—I uh, some of it might've been true…"

"Do not, Edward Elric, be ashamed of your feelings!"

"What exactly is ashamed about handing in a rant about how insanely attractive I am to our English teacher?" Envy's voice was like ice, and it made Ed shudder. It was also kinda hot, regrettably.

"Why, the fact that he did not inform you first, Mr Alighieri!"

"D'ya have to shout everything?" Envy muttered. "He doesn't _have_ to inform me. Everyone knows I'm hot. He's just a creep for handing his sex fantasies into a teacher. Also stupid. Really, really stupid."

"…shut up, like you haven't done worse!" Ed cried.

Again, Envy glared. Ed thought it would be best to shut up; he could already feel a bruise forming from the earlier punch.

Armstrong gave Ed a lengthy rant about the importance of being honest with one's feelings and suggested that maybe Envy dress a tad more modestly. Envy told him to shove it, and stormed out of the office.

"Well," Ed muttered to himself as he left a minute later, "that was better than expected."

Then he was grabbed by the hood and slammed against the wall. Envy gripped his shoulders, glaring intensely, and it was insanely _hot_.

"So, Elric," Envy hissed, leaning closer. Oh fuck, he was doing this on purpose, with the husky bitchy voice, the tight grip, and that _damn mini-skirt_… "You want me that badly, huh?"

Ed didn't trust himself to answer. Thankfully, Envy was in a ranting mood.

"Even though I'm too pale, huh?"

"…well… you kinda—"

"That's just my skin, you racist bitch," Envy growled. He actually sounded serious. "And I'm not _anorexic_, I eat, you moron."

"And then throw it up, from the look of you," Ed couldn't help but mutter.

"That's _bulimia_, you dipshit, and I'm not that, either," Envy snarled. "Y'know, Armstrong made sense for once — the hell don't you just talk to me?"

"Well, duh. You yell and punch me."

"…you deserve it, you're an asshole."

Ed snorted. Which was, apparently, the wrong thing to do as Envy dug his nails (painted purple today) deeper into his shoulders, earning a gasp.

"_And_," Envy said, back to growling in that way that either meant he was about to pounce and rip Ed's innards out or suck him off, "I'll have you know the only time I wear pants is to bed."

That wasn't what Ed expected in two ways — not what he expected to hear, and not what he expected Envy to sleep in. At all. "What… why?"

"…cos it's cold, maybe?"

Ed was stunned. "You… you own pants?"

"I'm not exactly proud of it… but yes."

"Huh, that's actually kinda…" Ed pictured Envy in pants. Oh, sure, they'd be harder to get off, but if they were tight in the right places which, Envy being Envy, they were bound to be, "…kinda hot."

Envy groaned, rolled his eyes, and pulled away, lip curled. "You're sick, Elric." He held up a fist. "One word about being sick from being in _love_ with me or some other bullshit and you get it."

"It's not bullshit," Ed said, firmly. He had a chance, right here, to make Envy stop calling him 'Elric' and start calling him 'Ed' without it being at the end of an ironic 'stupid-head'. "Maybe I'm not as eloquent as you'd want, but that doesn't change a damn thing about how I feel."

"…that you'd really like to get in my pants?"

"Amongst other things," Ed said, and he couldn't help smirking. It probably didn't help his case, but Envy gave him the easier openings.

Envy snorted. "Whaaatever, Edo." He offered a lazy wave as he walked away. "Save it for university."

Ed grinned. "Who says I'm gonna bother waiting that long, huh?"

Envy flipped him off — but he'd still called Ed by his name. Not just his name, a _nickname_. And Ed bet Envy wore some embarrassingly cute pyjama pants, and like hell he wasn't going to see them.

…and take them off.

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know how it made you feeeeel? It'll be encouraging!<em>


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